Days of Gratitude

While I was blog surfing/stalking earlier tonight I found a post encouraging you to write a message or note of gratitude on the days leading up to Thanksgiving. So, starting tomorrow I will be attempting to record the things I am grateful for here on my blog. I know that anything I post will only be skimming the surface of the blessings God has poured out on my life.

rambling updates

I apologize for the long wait on whether or not I made it through my last week of utter chaos. I will try not to lose sleep over the severe lack of inquiry into my status :). After many (and often late) hours and an unplanned extra day off, I finished my thesis!!!!!
Life since then has not slowed down as much as I really would have liked. In fact, it took me a few days before I mentally felt like I was finished and could relax and enjoy things. Guess that just goes to show how stressed and consumed I was.
I have enjoyed a night or two of simply sitting and enjoying life. It is nice to know that I can do the things I need to do and still have some time left over for the things that I want to do. I have caught up on some cleaning, though I still have more to do. I have also had a chance to read for pleasure! What a strange concept that has been!
Life at work has been anything but dull lately. I have had some trouble recently with parents and cannot seem to be tough enough for some but yet others are saying I'm too tough. This past week alone had so many ups and downs that I began to even doubt why I am in teaching at all. Fortunately I left school Friday with things being as good as they can be for now and feeling like I could enjoy my weekend. Please be in prayer for things at work to start looking up consistently.
And for those of you who are wondering how the wedding planning is going..........I have my dress!!! Unfortunately I cannot post pictures on here b/c the dear fiance does check the blog occasionally. If you need to see a pic before the big day then email me and I will be sure to send you a pic. So right now I am working on selecting bridesmaids dresses, and trying to nail down catering, photographers, and florists. It is easy for me to see how people can get so consumed by their weddings and others simply choose to elope.
Hopefully since my paper is finished I can start to update on a more regular basis.

one week down, one more to go!

Today is National Pregnancy and and Infant Loss Day. Take a moment to pray for all of the families that this impacts.

On a lighter note:
Today will be my last real shot to get my paper written. I will also be packing for the Chrysalis weekend and trying to get as much school stuff completed as possible. Keep me in your prayers friends. One week left until my crazy to do list must be completed! I am already beginning to feel the load lighten! Hopefully I can keep plugging along and get all of my work wrapped up. Back to work!

two weeks

In two weeks I can breathe, relax, feel somewhat back to normal....or at least as normal as my life can get right now. Two weeks from now I will have finished my thesis (for better or worse), been head logistics on a Chrysalis Journey, put together report cards for my kids at school, completed parent-teacher conferences, gone to a bridal show only to get the $1500 free gift package, had a workshop at school, worked the fall festival and mega parties at school, been visited by the worlds most wonderful Turners, and anything else that the good Lord feels like throwing my way.
I am to say the least feeling overwhelmed. I have made lists on top of lists. Learned that I can live on little to no sleep without completely killing anyone, although I am sure I am not the world's most pleasant person to be around right now.
I am learning that my wants and desires are not what is facing me most on my to do list right now. I am struggling with how to deal with that.

For the most part I am venting. There really is nothing anyone can do for me right now except to pray. Pray that first that all of this pushes me into the loving and supportive arms of my loving God. Pray that not only do I finish this and feel the glorious thrills of completion but that somehow throughout all of it that God is magnified.

Two weeks...

Wonderful weekend in Winston!

My car can just about drive itself down to Winston without my help now. I have driven down there so many times since April. I am fortunate enough to have two very wonderful reasons to make the frequent trips. My sweet soon to be fam--the Gieses and my amazingly wonderful sister Abby!
This past weekend Aaron and I were able to split our weekend enjoying time with both the Gieses and Abby. We drove down Friday night to spend some time with our adorable nephew while his parents went out for the evening. It was wonderful to see all of the amazing ways in which he has grown and also to be able to allow Sean and Christal to go out and enjoy each other. Saturday we spent a bit more time with all of them before going to hang out with Abby and her new fella at the fair.

What a great kid!

Our evening Saturday night was filled with many firsts. First time meeting the leading man in Abby's life, Aaron's first time at the fair, etc. From the very beginning things just seemed to fit between the four of us. We walked around the fair, eating our way from place to place. Our evening at the fair was complete with exhibits, pig races and of course fair food! Needless to say we threw our point counting out the window that night! Overall the evening was wonderful and filled with great food, friends, and fun!

I greatly enjoyed getting to meet Abby's new guy and was more than excited to see how much he adores her. I look forward to many more opportunities to hang out with the two of them. I love you sister and am so excited for you!

I dont know how...

I had a great time tonight with my mother. We got together this afternoon and went over to Asheville for the bridal show. It was fun going around and seeing all of the vendors and what was available. It was fun to be able to share it with my mother.
I came home bubbly and happy, wishing to share it with my grandmother, Lynn, and a few others who were at my house. In all of the fun I had all night I had managed to temporarily forget all of the troubles going on at home before I left. Grandmother tried to put on a smile for us as we came home and listened to a few of the "highlights" from our evening. And then she let loose...
With no warning at all I became the target. Most of the time I am able to deflect the pain from these jabs, knowing deep down that it is not her. But tonight it hit me, and it hit me hard. I came out of her room where she had told me to "back off" and began to cry. I came downstairs, fell to the floor beside my bed and sobbed.
Even as I sit here now the tears fall.
I dont know how to do this. I dont know how to sit back and watch her suffer. I dont know how to keep the jabs from hurting. I want to be able to share my life with her, to turn to her just like I always have been able to. To feel and not just know that she loves me. I dont know how to watch the person that I have been closest to my whole life die. And worst of all to die so slowly and painfully. My heart (and right now the rest of my physical body) hurt so very deeply.

whew!

I cannot believe that it has been so long since my last post. I am grateful for those of you who still take the time to try and check in on my life. It means so very much to me to see your sweet and encouraging comments.

Life has been very very busy lately. I have loved EVERY minute of having Aaron in Haywood County with me!!! I think I had forgotten how wonderful it was to have him around all the time. I have yet to tire of seeing his handsome face or wish that he had something else to do instead of come see me :). We are both looking forward to enjoying this new stage of life as we prepare for our next stage of life...marriage!
I am still not finished with my thesis:(. I did complete and present my final presentation, which went really well. Now to just force myself to sit down and work on that pesky paper. I have faith that God will see me through until the end. I cannot wait to report to all of you that I am finished!
My awesome bro-in-law to be is taking his turn as a patient in the hospital in Winston right now. While I have not been able to be with their sweet family physically I have spent many moments on my knees in prayer for his full and speedy recovery. Christal has been amazing at updating everyone on their family blog thegieses.blogspot.com I am continuing to pray for God's healing hands upon Sean!
My grandmother is holding steady right now. She is still in a lot of pain and has many ups and downs. We should find out in the next couple of days whether or not Hospice will be coming in to help. Please continue to keep our family in your thoughts and prayers as this is not an easy journey for any of us.

Well I'm sure that doesnt cover everything but I hope that it offers a bit of insight into what life is holding for me right now (and possibly excuses my lack of posts recently)