thesis update (or lack there of)

Well guys and gals I had hoped by this point in the week that I would have grand and glorious progress to report to you about...however life has not ended up that way. I spent several hours going over the thesis template and have even begun to gather my thoughts on various chapters. But that's as far as it goes.
Don't get me wrong, I am anxious over its completion and almost constantly feel the stress stemming from its incompletion.
All of this said, I have factors that have brought me to where I am but I know deep down I am the one responsible.

Continue to be in prayer friends. I need it now as much as ever.

thesis

Sorry for the lack of updates. I have been very busy since I got back into town earlier in the week. I will try to get pics up of both the beach and family reunion/stamp trip as soon as I can. Until then please be in prayer that I can finish my thesis in the next 19 days.

Big News!

After five and a half years Aaron popped the question!!

I was (still am) enjoying my beach vacation with Abby and her family when Abby started to get text messages from a source she would not divulge. After a bit of thinking I figured out it must be Aaron although I couldnt quite figure out why.

Now anyone who knows Aaron knows he loves surprises, even showing up when you're not expecting him. So it was not a huge surprise when he showed up at the front door a few hours later.

After a brownie and homemade ice cream Abby, Aaron and I went for a walk on the beach. We had a great time hanging out and talking and had walked quite a ways before we decided to turn around and head back. On the way back I went off to check the temperature of the water. Aaron took this opportunity to tell Abby that he was going to propose and that she could take pictures. I knew she was there but somehow in the moment I forgot where she was or what she was doing.

Aaron pulled a poem out of his pocket that he wrote for me and began to read it. It started all the way back with Chrysalis and the nerf darts from the night we really noticed each other and ended with him asking me to marry him. After he read the poem he pulled the box out of his back pocket, got down on one knee and asked me to marry him.

I am so thankful for the way God orchestrated everything. It fit us perfectly!

New look

Over the last little bit I have wanted to redo my look. I spent some time and have a slammin desktop! This morning I sat down to update my blog look and had too many problems to count. At one point when I signed on all I saw was my blank background--no words, nada! So after much ado I wind up with something I am semi happy with. I would like to personalize my header but that is going to have to be on another day. Unless I just can't stay away...haha.

oops

I tried to redo the look of my blog and now I can't find the rest of the blog :(

quick pic

I thought that I would take a break from my recent attempts at graduate work and post a little fun from this past weekend. This pic was taken on Father's day while we were putt-putting with my family. Aaron and I played 3 games of putt-putt that weekend!

Longing...

Aaron left this afternoon and even in the last few hours before he left I found myself longing. Longing for more time (despite the fact that I'd already been graced with one more day), longing for this leaving crud to be over, longing to have my thesis written and behind me, longing to be married and have kids. Longing for so many things. Things that I know are part of what God has planned for me, at some point. I guess the factor for me is that the time for those things is not now. I have no reason for being impatient with God. Who am I to think that I would want things any way other than the way He has planned for me? 90% of the time I understand why things are the way the are and know that deep down I would not want them any different. Lately it seems that I seem to be living in that other 10%. The 10% of the time where I am not satisfied with where I am, with who I am, the 10% of the time where I find myself longing to be someone else/to be doing something else.
It seems easier to wish that things could be some other way than to be satisfied with who/where I am in life right now. I am amazed at how much time I have wasted (in just these last few days even), time that I could have spent working on my thesis, one of any number of projects, etc. I spent time on my drive home tonight wondering and asking God for an explination as to why I seemed unsatisfied. In some ways I could just feel God staring back at me as if to say "You've got to be kidding, could you really not understand how you wound up here"? And yet in the next flash I could see His arms extending towards me begging me to come back into His security and comfort. God knows what's best for me and yet I, in my flesh, fight Him--wanting to do things on my own. What a stubborn and ungrateful child I am sometimes.