Over the past month I have spent more time worrying and talking about my heart than I ever thought I would be before the age of 50 (at least).
Not too long ago my mom and I started working out with a physical trainer. While I would not consider myself to be in tip top shape I didnt ever imagine that I would be struggling either. Within a few days of working out my trainer commented to me that she was worried about my heart racing after a short time on the treadmill. I wasnt really worried about it because I felt fine and had no symptoms.
Fastforward a couple of weeks and my trainer was still worried so I mentioned it to my doctor. My doctor checked all she could in her office, didnt seem too concerned, but decided that we would have things checked out just to make sure something didnt get overlooked, so she ordered a stress test.
I completed my stress test and received another "your heartrate does go up a good bit, but I'm not sure it's anything to worry about". Right about the time I was beginning to feel relieved and started to put the whole process behind me the heart doc said "I'd like to order an ultrasound of your heart just to make sure we arent overlooking anything I cant see".
Now under normal circumstances I would be grateful for the detail in checking everything out but right now it is very overwhelming. Overwhelming on several fronts:
1) They're talkin about my heart---scary stuff!
2) I have a wedding to plan here! No time to spend worrying over heart conditions. I need to worry over what flowers I'm going to carry and who is playing during the service---not what's going on with my heart.
3) Taking time out for heart appointments cuts into my wedding planning, sleeping, and social life.
4) My insurance runs out at the end of the month, in exactly 4 days. This creates problems in scheduling appointments in time so that I can still be covered and not have to pay a fortune.
5) Speaking of paying, since I am no longer working now is not exactly the best time to be paying hundreds of dollars to go to the doctor and also leaves the question of what expenses might come with the results of these tests (as in long term care if problem is found).
Hopefully I will get some results from the ultrasound very soon (praying for good news), waiting is not easy!!
I am very grateful for the prayers and encouragement my family and friends have offered me and I am trying my best to trust in God. Trusting God during the bad times as well as the good...not always easy.