Saturday, September 5, 2009

Half and Half

Not that I havent known it for awhile now (some would argue quite awhile) but I'm getting married in a week! A week, one week, seven!
It's funny to realize that we have been together for so long and have even been engaged for so long and the day is finally coming. I sit here this morning knowing that my life is about to change in a BIG way. As I think about it I find myself dealing with two major groups of emotions/feelings---on one hand I am excited, anxiously anticipating and on the other I am OCD thinking about all of the details and feeling a different type of anxiety over the ceremony and formality of the big day itself.
In the end I know it will be beautiful and we will be married. I just want to soak up these last few days of what I now know as my life. I want to slow down a bit and remind myself (once again) to enjoy the process.

As we enter into these final days/moments before our big day I ask that you pray for us. Specifically for me. Up until yesterday I have spent most of my time dreading being in front of people on my wedding day, I dont like to have people watching me. But yesterday as I faced the stresses of this process my heart began to ache. The ache that I felt was not a new one, it was the ache of missing my Grandmother. For the first time I not only knew she wasnt going to be there with me but I felt it. I missed her in a whole new way. Please pray that I do not allow that ache to overcome me, it is not what I want nor what she would have wanted. I miss her and I always will, this day and this time need to be looked upon with joy not sorrow.


The Gieses said...

I know it's not the same but I just want you to remember that you will have an entire building full of people who love the two of you that day. :) Cheering you on this week! If you need anything, let us know!

Cintia EUA said...

My fav sentence: "In the end I know it will be beautiful and we will be married." I'm praying for you. Let us know if we can lend you a few extra hands and the big day approaches. Love you Rachel!