Monday, August 4, 2008

stress and hope...

The last few weeks have been very stressful to say the least. I have spent many hours stressing over my thesis (though few actually getting to work on it), many hours doing things for my grandmother or getting her to where she needs to be, as well as a fair amount of time finishing up my last real grad class and dealing with other various family issues. I still do not have any of my thesis written (I am working hard on that today!) but have looked into what my options are as far as finishing it with or soon after the rest of my cohort. More than anything I want it to be finished and over with so that the pressure and stress surrounding it can be relieved. I am ready to look forward to spending time planning a wedding and hanging out with my family and friends. I am ready to enjoy all of those parts of life I have put on hold until grad school is over.

As I sit and look at my to do list today and know all of the pressures that are on me I cannot help but feel hope. Hope has been one thing I have been lacking in recent weeks. At times things around me felt so heavy and dark that while I knew I would not be stuck in this place forever I could not seem to see for myself how to push forward and I did not like the options I saw in front of me. I don't know that I have ever felt so down and defeated, so hopeless and scared.

I do know that God has surrounded me with the most wonderful family and friends who have done nothing but offer many ways to support me and push/drag me through this time in my life. I know without a doubt that I would not be where I am with out you and am so very thankful for the role that each of you play in my life. Continue to pray for me and my family as we are not completely out of the dark yet. Even though it is a small thing to some, this new found hope and joy is a welcome comfort and motivator for me. It is a reminder that my God has a hold of me and my circumstances.

side note: I will post soon several pictures and also a bit about the Steven Curtis Chapman concert this past Friday night at the Biltmore House.


The Gieses said...

What in the world are you doing up at 4:23am??? Get some rest, girl! Love and prayers to you!

Heather said...

Hey Cheeka! I was thinking about you today,and was wondering if you had much sucess with the thesis since the beach. So i thought i would check in on you. I hope the thesis takes form for you soon. I know that there is light at the end of the tunnel, hopefully you will see it soon! Take care!